Saturday, January 28, 2012

Mispronouncement, or Ressurection?

Well, well.   The reports of Talk Lubbock's death were mistaken.   http://www.talklubbock.com/index.php?sid=0c6b0ff7418ef144d155fe1c8f17590f  Either that or it underwent resurrection. 

That is one of my greatest fears, to be mistakenly pronounced dead.  

My worst nightmare is to be standing on a subway or train platform and to get pushed off with the train coming on.   (There are those who get their jollies that way, you know?   Stand behind someone on a crowded platform and give a little nudge at just the right time.)     Remember that TV episode where a man was trapped between train and platform, his lower body crushed to jelly, so he stays there conscious and saying his goodbyes before the train is moved and he bleeds out.   Awful!

Second worst is to be pronounced dead and wake up in a coffin, trying to breathe.    Which is not likely to happen these days, given our curious funerary practices.
  
If the pronouncement of death is wrong, draining the blood and injecting embalming fluids will do you in.   Death by embalming.  

(I have this vision of an undertaker finding to his dismay that he has a live client on the table.  A live client means the undertaker is out of a job and down a fee with respect to this particular client, y'know?  Economic considerations rule, and so the undertaker reaches for a hammer kept under the table for that very purpose, and conks the undeceased on the head and proceeds with his work, whistling.   Wonder how many times that occurs.)

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